Theory is great, mental gymnastics are sometimes fun, however, when it comes to extricating oneself from a toxic marriage; what to expect needs to be clearly communicated and a visible direction provided. Eddy and Kreger have successfully done this through their book Splitting. They have co-authored an accessible and well organized self-help manual that provides excellent explanations about how personality disorders operate, what behaviors are to be expected, what to look for in legal representation, what to expect from the family court, what the legal system can and can not do, avenues for mediation and advice on how to navigate the process with a focus on minimizing the fallout.
I give this book two thumbs up! I highly recommend to those who are trying to navigate their way through a high conflict divorce…. Actually if you can, read it BEFORE you begin the process. Staying one step ahead of your partner’s emotional instability can assist you on planning your own responses. Divorce is extraordinarily difficult in the best of situations; a potential nightmare in the case of leaving someone who is predisposed to blame, projection and chaos.
If you have been caught up in the tumultuous cycle of being married to someone with a personality disorder, I’m sure you are feeling exhausted, disoriented and possibly unsure of which end is up. This book can provide great insight, direction and help reduce your anxiety by delivering a blueprint as you begin to empower yourself and create strategies to leave.
Eddy and Kreger help adjust expectations, shine a light on inevitable obstacles and point you toward finding informed mediators/lawyers and therapists. Throughout it, they provide hope. While they don’t sugar coat the difficulty ahead, they remain encouraging and show how to stay emotionally balanced as you extricate yourself from the chaos.
The most important point they communicate and I want to echo is, you cannot take this task on by yourself. You need a strong support network that includes family, friends and most importantly professionals that can help buffer you from the inevitable storm. Your soon to be ex-partner will try anything to punish you for leaving; it’s why it’s important to be forearmed. Picking up a copy of this book is a good place to start.
Be prepared and be assured that there are informed professionals out here that can and are willing to help, it may take some research, but we exist.