Experiencing narcissistic Abuse is confusing! Google it and you will find yourself even more perplexed by the proliferation of perspectives and experiences. 

​

Let me share a secret with you, it's confusing for clinicians as well. Even those of us who work in this specialty hold differing perspectives of narcissism and its role in the human experience. What is agreed upon is that narcissistic abuse is an emotionally toxic experience that can be defined as repetitive ‘psychological abuse’.

 

The narcissistic abuse cycle is a repeated and subtle tearing down of psychological boundaries around a targeted person’s sense of self by a partner, parent, friend or boss who utilizes manipulation, gaslighting and denial tactics to get their needs served. It operates in a variety of relational contexts and on a spectrum, but its damage is most keenly experienced in close intimate relationships.   

​

‘Narcissistic Orientation is when one experiences as real only that which exists within themselves, when the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous.’ Erich Fromm

 

Narcissistic abuse is sustained through a pattern of cyclical extremes. The unpredictable nature of the perpetrator’s emotional world quickly leads the unaware partner into a downward abusive cycle that breeds confusion and doubt. Questions about who you are and what you did to warrant such behavior consumes the targeted's thoughts. The longing to regain the status of the idealized relationship drives preoccupation and obsessive thinking leads to questioning of one's own perception. The manipulator preys upon these beliefs sustaining relational control and keeping in a state of emotional powerlessness. 

 

This cycle brings on feelings of exhaustion, confusion, ambivalence, emptiness and broken-heartedness. Isolation and disorientation lead to questions of whether to stay present in the relationship, but at the same time making it feel like it's impossible to let go. 

 

Feeling emotionally unstable in this one relationship, yet normal in all your others may be an indicator that you are caught in a Narcissistic Abuse Cycle.

​

If any part of this resonates, I'm here to tell you it's not you!!! 

 

You have been conditioned to focus on the needs and wants of your toxic parent or partner; while minimizing and ignoring your own needs. I am here to assist you regain your equilibrium while breaking free of the external focus and help you shift your attention back towards a more balanced internal focus. In time, you can and will regain your own sense of self and an increased capacity for self-love you may have never experienced before.

​

I believe you and you are not alone.

​

If you have any questions, I can be reached at 818-583-7105.

​

​